My Advice To You: Relationships - The Clinger

Hello lovely readers, I have been one busy woman! Recently a friend emailed me with a problem which she's kindly allowed me to write up on here! So this is a taster of my relationship advice.
To: Tammy-Louise Wilkins
Subject: Why Won't My Ex-Boyfriend Leave Me Alone?
From: A

Hey Tammy! 

Ok, I have an issue and I was wondering if your could help me?

I was with my ex-boyfriend for about 4 months. It was a great relationship we had , I felt really close to him. 

Then a few weeks ago I went away on holiday and met another guy that I really liked. Not a lot happened between us , we talked a lot and he gave me a few friendly kisses on the cheeks but I had a huge crush on him! I found out that he also liked me; it was kinda obvious by the way he looked at me! I was absolutely gutted went I left , I cried and felt quite depressed (which was a bit weird) knowing that there's barely any chance I'll ever meet him again. 

This made me realize I no longer had feelings for my boyfriend back at home. I know deep down that there will always be something like a small vibe between us but I don't think I could ever feel the same way after meeting the guy on holiday. Of course I broke things off between us and told him straight that I didn't have feelings for him anymore. It felt so harsh but I knew I couldn't let something that big play on my mind. I hated breaking up with him because he was so upset, he made me feel stupid for thinking that I fell in love with someone I met on holiday (what can I say, love at first sight?) and made me feel guilty for "breaking his heart". 

I'm completely over him now. But now he constantly texts me, it's so annoying. He never bothered to text me when we were together, why now? He says that he misses me and he wants me back, but all I want is for him to leave me alone! I've started talking to another guy now I love talking to and we share mutual interest in each other! I accidentally made the mistake of telling a "friend" I knew about the new guy and she ended up telling my ex! He's furious and really jealous that I've moved on and he hasn't. 

How can I get rid of him without upsetting him anymore? I just don't know what to do anymore. :(

A xoxo

Hey A!

Ah, ex boyfriends are never a good subject to give advice on without using f bombs. This type of ex is particularly aggravating.

Lets start with your holiday. Mr Holiday Guy was a good great thing to happen to you, all he did was make you realize that your feelings towards Mr Clingy were more friendly than relationship-type. I completely understand your "love at first sight" thought. You were in another country and exposed to a foreign place. Of course when a handsome young guy comes along knowing his way around the place would catch your interest but love? I don't think so, as you said in the beginning it was just a crush. He was a breath of fresh air to you, something new and exciting. I also understand your being upset when leaving, sometimes when knowing someone for a short period of time will genuinely feel like you've known them for years. 

Now onto Mr Clingy, I'm definitely glad you broke up with him. It would've been pointless and hurtful on both sides to stay together. I however don't understand why he reacted so...girlishly? Girls are the ones that cry when relationships break up, it's extremely rare for a man to show any emotion. Why it would reduce man points and their silver gorilla status. I'm going to go with option two: He's just a tad more feminine than most of the male species to react in such a way. You told him straight and he was upset, then decided to insult you into thinking you were stupid and useless? That's disrespectful to say that to someone you apparently "love". He says he has a broken heart? B.S. He can't know what love is yet, maybe puppy love but not LOVE. That part was most probably for effect.

The texting issue is simple, to Mr Clingy you are now off the market which attracts him to you. For example, you give a piece of clothing away and you suddenly want it again. After reading some of the texts he's sent, this guy is a Class A Clinger. If you can't ignore his texts you only have two options left and to be honest neither will improve his mood.
  1. Tell him straight. Tell him to leave you the hell alone or just settle that you'll only be friends. 
  2. Block his number.

I hope this helps you!

Tammy xo


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