My Advice to You: Mr Cheap, Mr Crude & Mr Cocky.

Hello lovely readers, summer is upon us in full swing and the time has come for all to whip out their glorious beach bodies.

At times, it is quite the pleasure to observe the youthful male strut about with their impressive, toned bodies. *cough* Alexander Skarsguard. *cough* The Ogling Season, I call it. So with men in mind, this evening's post is about a language that continually baffles, irritates and confuses us women. I am, of course, speaking about the sacred language only men use and understand.

As an adviser myself, I get asked questions about men all the time. But it never occurred to me just how peculiar and mysterious men really are to women; and at times, to themselves.

I'm no Tracey Cox, you won't find me publishing self-help books about sex & relationships. However, I am one of many who strive to solve the mystery of the meaning to the majority of what comes out of a man's mouth. For all we know, they all share an identical chromosome abnormality.

The problem at hand here though is that, although a huge amount are all searching for the same answer, we all come to a different conclusion.

So what is my theory that could potentially be the key to understand the male population? Experience. It is incredibly plain and simple.

As Lindsey Kelk would say if asked how does she create the perfect leading men in her novels: "I dated all the shit ones and made a character that was the polar opposite." Myself and Miss Kelk have that in common. I have had the misfortune of knowing some men that I desperately would like to erase in my past. But by losing precious time with those men, I have gained much experience and have had a taster of what the "perfect" man (for myself) is.

With each relationship or date, every woman forms their own opinion on men as a whole. That is sometimes (all the time) not good at all. As an outsider, watching a relationship or friendship unravel is almost always the best way to make a judgement as it is unpolluted by others.

With time ticking by, relationships and friendships are being initiated more commonly by social media and that is what I shall be exploring tonight. Most often in this day and age, arguments occur through things such as text messaging. What is so aggravating is not knowing what a person means by what they say. Especially when it's a conversation between a man and a woman.

I won't lie, in some of my friendships there have been moments when I've done a double take at something one of my male friends have said. There have been times when I've pondered about something like this for hours. It truly is a cryptic language that men behold. One of my pet peeves is this new text language the younger generation are using. Please, for the love of god, learn some grammar.

Anyhow. Without further ado, let's have a look at some scenarios (created by yours truly) that I will then analyze.

Scenario One: The Girl is trying to attract The Guy's attention by obvious flirting but his replies just don't make sense.

The Girl: Saw you at the park playing football! You looked so cute! ;-) xo
The Guy: Er, thanks.
The Girl: I was on my way back from the gym. It takes a lot to look good :) xo
The Guy: That's cool, next time you go try using the rowing machine.
The Girl: Sure! :) I may need a little guidance though, fancy joining me? xo
The Guy: No thanks, gotta go now. Later.

Translation: The Guy can either be:
Socially awkward (unlikely!)
Just not interested

My Advice To You: Tone down the flirting, be yourself and don't take too long to think of something witty to say. Let him come to you...which may require some patience.

Scenario Two: The Guy hasn't replied in which The Girl repeatedly texts.

The Guy: How was ur night? :) x
The Girl: Morning! It was so awesome! Me + my friends went to the new bar, it was so cool! :-D xo
The Girl: WUU2 today? xo
The Girl: Hey, this is my third message, what's going on?
The Girl: Whatever, text me when u aren't being a jerk.

Translation: Not much to translate here*chuckles*

My Advice To You: Calm down! Guys don't have their phone with them 24/7 like us. If you keep texting him, he'll feel you're boxing him in and will retreat. Give the guy some space! Don't act like that because it comes off a little desperate (hate that word). Play hard to get. Fight yourself on what you really want to say, stay chilled rather than go guns blazing. Say something simple and charming.

Scenario Three: The Girl sends a photo of herself innocently but The Guy takes it too far.

The Girl: My birthday dress! ~Photo3227~
The Guy: Looking sexy ;-)
The Girl: Hehe thanks :)
The Guy: Will I get a photo of you without the dress on?
The Girl: Lol I don't think so.
The Guy: C'mon, just between us.

Translation: The Guy either:
Has a sick sense of humour
Clearly wants you.

My Advice To You: DON'T ever do what he asked!! No, no, no!
If the circumstances are different for example you're with him romantically then perhaps, ask yourself three questions: Do you trust him? Do you actually want to? Is he being pushy and should shove off? This is dangerous ground, no matter the circumstances though.
I'm a guy's girl in the social world–They're good influences. They don't b*tch and aren't fussed around me.–so I do know how their language changes throughout the stages of life. I am quite gracious to say one of my guy friends volunteered their opinion:

"I enjoy talking to girls friend wise because they understand things better and it's easier to open up to them. When I'm talking to a girl, I don't tend to be really rude or all boyish like I am with my guy friends. As weird as it sounds, I like to have heart to heart talks because I enjoy getting to know people and feel comfortable enough to be quite emotional towards them. When it comes to text language, I use slang like "cuz" but other than that I text in full English. I find talking in really annoying single letter slang quite aggravating. I think when the timing's right, the word "LOL" is fine but when it's obsessive, I find it hard to reply. For example, when someone simply puts "lol" it's basically a conversation ender. When I flirt with a girl, I always use a wink face (;]). When I'm disinterested in the conversation, I try to change the topic subtly. I'm not gonna be rude and say "You're boring" *laughs*"

Also a couple members of my family volunteered a little opinion:

Mamma Wilkins on Daddy Wilkins
"I've been with him for 35 years and I stopped listening 30 years ago."


A lot to take in right? I'm sorry if I started to rant in some areas, I really got into this post.

Enjoy your weekend!

Tammy xo


  1. Brilliant post Tammy! Impressed as per usual :3 <3

  2. thats cheered me up:3 now i know!!! xoxo

    1. Aw, thank you my lovely! I'm glad my post was helpful! xo


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