Being Comfortable in My Skin.

Hello lovely readers, so Thursday I was speaking to lovely reader Ross Coleman and we were discussing diets.

*WARNING!* Before you read any further, I'd like to first tell you this post contains mild language in some parts.

Now I myself can’t do diets. It’s just not feasible. I love food too much. Anyway, back to the conversation. I was saying how I didn't understand how some women can willingly live off such small portions of food like a minor salad. The mere thought is slightly terrifying to a food lover like me. Shouldn't we all feel comfortable in our own skin? That’s easier said than done. All women–I don’t care if some of you deny it–are insecure about their body. It’s almost an essential part of being a woman.

Even I am insecure at times and with good reason.

Monochrome Aztec Stripe Midi Dress
2013 © Tammy-Louise Wilkins
You see, I was given a blessing & a curse in the form a family gene. I can eat and eat and eat but the weight doesn’t get put on. It practically disappears. If it goes anywhere (rarely), it’s my boobs and backside. “That’s not a bad thing!” Well that's partly true but it’s quite deflating when you can’t put on a pair of size 8 or 10 jeans because your ass is too big! Plus, I have very tricky legs. They’re long and slim so finding a pair of jeans that aren’t too long or too small isn’t so it isn't easy.

A lot of lovely people compliment me on my figure and it’s utterly sweet to receive such comments. Although, I don’t truly agree with them. But I also have a great deal of harsh things said to me. Most often, I’m targeted as anorexic. It’s belittling and hurtful but over time I’ve learnt to deal with it and ignore it. I openly admit I wish I could put on some weight but nature just won’t allow it. Sure, I think I’m attractiveI’m a modest woman but I’ve learnt to acknowledge this after some convincing by othersbut of course I will always wish for something more. Like most women. All women.

A man’s opinion is important to a woman no matter how much pride she has. His opinion will always matter whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, husband or son. But of course macho men being men, they go for the nonchalant response like: “Yeah, you look fine.” However, as the younger generations come into light, the guys are a lot more openly emotional. I personally think that is both a good and bad thing. Yes, I love to be able to know what they feel but don't be more emotionally open than I am. So I’ve asked my lovely reader whom I was speaking to about this to give his opinion on the matter:

I feel like looks are really important. But personality is equally as important. If a girl is too thin, it's not attractive to me. If a girl is too large, it isn't so attractive either. But I think if a girl loves her body, that's great. Curvy or no curves at all. For example, an "obese" girl could be super sweet while a rail-thin super model could be an extreme bitch. I'd be friends with the "obese" girl over dating the super model anyday. ~ Ross Coleman.

I do agree with Ross in some aspects. His hypothetical situation is one that you don't truly hear from guys. There are plenty of stereotypical men out there who'd rather go with The Bitch rather than The Friend. For me, personality is more important. However I won't lie, I do love a good looking guy. *cough* Daniel Craig. *cough* Alexander Skarsgård. *cough*


I love modelling. It’s extremely fun. But that’s not why I’ve mentioned it. Female models have a huge amount of pressure on them to the point that they starve themselves. It’s not healthy. Why should they feel like they must look a certain way to feed others’ peace of mind? The modelling world is a tough business. That being said, I can’t express enough that these women that put themselves out there should feel comfortable in their own skin. It does pain me to see people hurting themselves. I’m not going to mention any certain models. However, I will say that I desperately want to tell all models: It’s ok to have thick coat of flesh and it’s ok to weigh more than a few pounds or be a size 10. A plus size doesn't define you as "fat". Male models have an equal amount of pressure too to have 'The Perfect Body'. In articles like this, they are sidestepped and instead only focus on the affects it has on female models. Both women and men in the model industries or not have eating disorders due to social pressure or self-loathing and it's not right! Body confidence is something we all lack in. We should support one another, not throw harsh comments out there.

Magazines, Blogs and Internet

Time has evolved and body criticism is very public now. Popular socialites often target actresses, actors, models and so on about how they either need to lose or gain weight. It’s like a pack of wolves attacking their prey. Social network negativity is always hard to handle because it isn’t face to face. You’ll find most people have more courage when hiding behind a computer screen. There isn’t a thing anyone can do because it is afterall the reporter’s personal thoughts. I would love to create a petition that would help stop people from being so cruel and bullying people they barely know. But the thing is, as much as I hate to admit it, we all are mean at some point.

Do you know what things like this end up as? Eating disorders, painful intervention arguments and a lot of hospital visits. Anorexia Nervosa & Bulimia Nervosa. Binge Eating. There are so many negative consequenses to either starving yourself or overeating.

Yes there are limits to both how thin and how thick-skinned a person should be but they need to feel comfortable and truly satisfied with how their body is. That is all that matters...Well and the fact that they are healthy too!

Tonight's post very much reminds me of my post: 'You'll Always Have Me' and 'Appearances Are Deceptive. . .'. If you haven't read them, go check them out!

I guess the aim of this post is to address that we are killing one another with snide remarks.

Tammy xo


  1. you are absolutely beautiful! you have great taste, too, as that dress is awesome! don't ever believe differently, either! just be the beautiful woman you are!


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