May 17, 2014

M.E. Awareness Week | Escaping from Rapunzel's Tower.

Hello lovely readers, this is officially my final post for M.E. Awareness Week! As a closing to the week, I would like to discuss a burning question I'm asked frequent for this penultimate chapter; "How do you do it?"


Such a simple question with such a bundle of subdivisions within it. How do I do it?
How do I blog regularly? How do I write? How do I travel to Stratford-upon-Avon? How do I do anything?

There is very easy, straightforward answer to this question. I do everything I do now thanks to three years of hard work and tough decisions.

Everything takes effort, time and a lot of planning.

When life knocks you for six, you're in a cavernous, black hole where no life lurks. No dreams, aspirations, just emptiness. I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything I knew had been discarded and I was left with uncertainty about everything. I searched for a long time. A very tediously painful soul search until fate placed me with what had began my passion when I was a little girl: A book.

Reading was the invitation to explore the prospect of redeeming and regaining a life for myself. It lead me to start writing again. I found an escape in writing. The art of the written word stole me away from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and gave me reason to reinvigorate myself and start living again. It triggered the motivation that would lead me to success.

Writing is a process in which I practice relaxation. I simmer down and let my mind and body rest as I script letters and string sentences together. My creative senses tame my pain and send a signal to my brain that it's time to power down and let my passion take over. This is how I'm able to write. I have carefully structured myself to concentrate on this one thing in order to persevere.

Nevertheless, blogging is problematic. I do suffer the consequences of horrible payback of pain and exhaustion. I have to take a time-outs from blogging because I'm feeling extremely lethargic. The truth is, lovely readers, I simply can't blog every single day. I'm a liability with scheduled articles. Some weeks, I can't even look at a computer screen.

As my occupation as a blogger has progressed, the pressure to publish regularly has slowly risen and sat on my shoulders.  I try my best to maintain my presence on a weekly basis but I simply can't do that. Blogging has started to affect me and my M.E. so I have decided it's time to take a step back and go at my own pace from now on. I'm relinquishing that lingering pressure and regaining that escape once more.

As I mention in The Big Bad Wolf Named Anxiety, my mother introduced me to Stratford-upon-Avon. I had just began this blog when she decided it was time to take a break from my location and go somewhere where I'd be at ease. It was terrifying just travelling there. I was very ill and quite literally made a run for it to the hotel room. That week was mostly spent in the hotel. What I realized however was that, when we did venture out, I was so relaxed. The place was a placebo effect. It takes me out of myself and into an amazing. I return for three reasons:
  1. It gives both myself and my mother a time to relax.
  2. I spend quality time with my muse, Shakespeare.
  3. I'm home.
There are things I leave out of my posts about my trips. I don't mention the times when I've had to return to the hotel because of exhaustion or the panic attacks when there are too many people. Behind the smiles, the outfits and the adventures, there is a lot of trauma and pain but the moral of this is...why dwell on the bad things in life when there is so much good that outweighs it?

So that is it for M.E. Awareness Week 2014. I hope you lovely lot have enjoyed and have been enlightened by the uncut insights into my life with M.E. and you need not worry, I will continue to document it. To end the week, I'll leave you with this: Myalgic Encephalomyelitis sufferers, you are NOT alone.

M.E. Awareness Week Articles:
Let M.E. Awareness Week Begin | The Origin of Sleeping Beauty | What Lies Beneath Snow's Beauty | The Big Bad Wolf Named Anxiety | Belle's Library of Disease | Finding Your Missing Glass Slipper.
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