Hello lovely readers, it’s Manic Monday! Ah, the dawn of a new week. The birth and continuation of life’s hurdles and finish lines.
This morning, I would like to discuss the prospect of doing something scary.
The definition for “scary” differs from person to person. Some may share few fears. Some perhaps harbour none at all. Then there are some that have many.
I am most definitely the latter.
There is a lot in life that scares me, much more then I’d like to admit. So many things in life scare me now; much unlike the untroubled person I was not so many years ago. I believe, as age changes with each moment, we become that little bit more of a distant memory to the person we are currently.
The emotional consequences of having Myalgic Encephalomyelitis are unnerving. I’ve always suffered with anxiety but never to the degree that I have for the last three years. I’m apprehensive about the majority of aspects I deal with on a day-to-day basis. Although, there is one thing that truly impacts me on a higher level and that is the social side of life.
I touched upon this during M.E. Awareness Week. I’ve been claustrophobic and socially shy for all of my life but in these three years, handling these inconsistencies has been a great deal more difficult. Personally, inhabiting a space in between a group of people I don’t know is frightening.
The feelings of distress and vulnerability engulf me equivalent to a pair of hands locked on my neck in a vice-like grip. It’s suffocating and impairing. For someone as stubborn as me, my reaction to being thrust into social situations is irritating.
It’s taken more or less one-thousand and ninety-six days of various coping techniques, thrusting myself in petrifying situations and many arguments with A to get to this point in time of being close to the beginning of handling my anxiety successfully.
This year, I have been doing more and more scary things. I’ve been diving out of my comfort zone in an effort to lessen my anxiety that tiny bit more.
This weekend, I am doing the most terrifying thing yet. Although I won’t reveal just what it is until it commences, it is the reason I’ve written this today. This weekend I am putting myself to the test by doing something I have wanted to do for a very long time.
So I shall leave you with this; no matter how scared you feel, do that scary thing you have always avoided. It may be one of the best decisions you make.