Hello lovely readers, it's officially the weekend which means it's time to reveal what mysterious thing I mentioned in this week's Monday Musings I'm doing.
One of my biggest battles with anxiety is being in social situations. Specifically, with a group of people I don't know and especially when I'm unprepared. Much like Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, anxiety is often an inward battle. It may appear that I flourish in social life with my adventures but in truth, I don't. It takes a lot of time to even get to the point of "flourishing."
Putting myself out there is extremely difficult and most often, it results in a panic attack or cowering in a corner away from the chaos. However, this year, I've been making a lot of changes in my life and I've been doing the things that scare me more than they ever did now in aid of taking another step towards kicking Anxiety's unsightly backside.
Seven months ago, I wrote a Monday Musings article entitled, It Will Be Happier. This post spoke about New Year's Resolutions and concluded with my very own list. Today I am accomplishing not one, but hopefully two resolutions featured on that list.
Today, I am taking on my biggest challenge yet.
There is a place that I visited many times each year for years. A place I once called my second home. It was somewhere I used to dream of calling my only home one day. It's also one of the busiest and is the biggest city in England.
It's a city that never stops, never sleeps and never ceases to be the life of party.
So I have decided to go back there for this entire weekend for the first time in a very long time. With my mother in tow, I will be thrusting myself into a world I have forgotten. One that will test myself, my M.E. and my anxiety to the extreme.
I'm heading to the glorious city that is London.
All week (apart from Wednesday,) I've been relaxing and gearing up for this. For a two-day stay, I will be venturing around London and will be attending the performance of one of my favourite musicals live on stage for the very first time. I used to spend my days in the theatres of the West End. I can imagine it's changed a lot since the last time.
So that is the scary thing I am doing. Perhaps, it may not seem so scary to you. But to me, it's going to be one of the scariest things I've done in these last three years. I am terrified...and so, so excited.