Monday Musings: The Rules of Facebook.

Hello lovely readers, it is Manic Monday which means it's a day of piles of paperwork, office gossip and hatred for whomever invented Monday. But first, how about a little humour with my attempt at using a large amount of the peculiar "GIF" in today's Monday Musings to go with your morning tea? Enjoy!

WARNING! This article is possibly a glorified vent.

Never rant on Facebook.


It's a rarity that ranting on Facebook ever achieves anything other then irritating other people and provoking some to lash right back at you. Don’t dangle bait for cyber piranhas to chew and spit out. There are, however, a few exceptions so the solution is to choose your subject of rant wisely and remain in the "safe zone."

Never talk about your "un-explainable" feelings on Facebook.


We've all seen that typical status when a person has clearly had the day from hell and decided to take to Facebook to express the said day in a particularly long-winded rendition of Daniel Powter's 'Bad Day.' Then, when other, doting, users ask what ever is the matter, the answer is always the same. No matter the wording, this is the answer; "I don't want to talk about it."
Just. Don't. Do. It. We are curious folk so don't dip our toes into acid.

Never write subliminal statues talking about other people that annoy you on Facebook.


To all the users of Facebook that honestly believe they have a degree in subliminal messaging: You're not fooling anybody. We know who you're talking about. The person you're talking about knows you're talking about them. You are, in fact, also talking about yourself. The Secret Services will never recruit you, we had a meeting.

Never reveal your relationship troubles on Facebook.


Confiding in a friend or family member about the struggles in your partnership, be it in person or over a private messaging network, is absolutely fine. Publicly venting about your relationship problems, on the other hand? That is a big no no. It doesn't solve anything. It is a burden upon us all. We are but strangers of the community that have no business knowing your quarrels with your significant other; especially if this is a periodic predicament you find yourself in. In all bluntness, quit seeking sympathy and go fix the problem at hand instead!

Never declare your undying love to the girl/guy you’ve been dating for a week on Facebook.


This has been going on since before the network was ever created. Do you remember when you wrote little notes of sweet nothings and it would be passed around the class like Chinese Whispers until it met its target? Yes, even then we had to deal with people making declarations of love to their "girlfriend" of several days or, even worse, minutes. Perhaps it's only me but I feel that relationships are private and that silly, public love notes, particularly on a social media medium, needs to be obliterated.

Never bully someone on Facebook.


This is my only compulsory and heavily opinionated rule of Facebook. Don't bully people. As a victim of this, I have a strong disdain for cyber bullying. Especially on a network such as Facebook. It's not cool, it never has been. Satisfaction from a person's misery in which you've inflicted is disgraceful. Poking fun in a friendly nature is accepted but never, ever abuse someone on Facebook. In fact, that rule should be applied to life in general.

Never set a profile photo self-entitled as "ugly" on Facebook.


This is one of the most puzzling and mind-boggling things about Facebook. Why in the world do you set a photo of yourself as a profile photo with a caption branding yourself as "ugly?" There's modesty and then there's simple need for attention. Go without a caption or choose a better photo.

Never send game requests without asking the person first on Facebook.



The majority of users do not have the time to play games for hours on end. I don't mind the odd request every now and then. However, constant requests are exasperating. You can send as many requests as ou desire, but it doesn't change that fact that it won't be accepted. 

Never proclaim to do something upon getting a set amount of 'likes' on Facebook.


We know you're lying.

Never invite someone to like your page when they've only just accepted you on Facebook.


Pleasantries in the greeting manner are usually the standard first stage of a Facebook friendship. I'm not going to like your page if you've neither spoken to me nor if I don't know you. Especially when I accepted you no longer than two minutes ago.

Never interact without a dictionary on hand on Facebook.


I'm part of the grammar police. I shudder when text language is the only vocabulary a person knows. This requirement has stemmed from both being a writer and a perfectionist. This is the rule that glues the rest together. I just want to understand you. I'm not text-language-savvy and I don't intend to be for as long as I have an infatuation with proper English.

*chuckles* I warned you it may be a glorified vent.
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