Interview | The Polyamorous Life of Jules Hamilton.
Hello lovely readers, this evening I have a special treat in the form of a riveting guest! In today’s blogging community, we have grown accustomed to the predominant genres such as fashion and beauty so I am ecstatic to introduce you to a man with a zest for life who just happens to be the owner of an unusually ingenious blog.
This summer, the sumptuous and affluent group of MIC took to the Big Apple for a vacation of fun, frolics and plenty of drama. With a new location comes new people, and this is how I discovered Jules and his blog.
Meet Jules Hamilton; the co-author of scientific blog, POLYGLAMOROUS, and the latest cast member of hit reality show, Made in Chelsea.
From Left to Right: Jules Hamilton, Polyglamorous Logo, Jules Hamilton and partner, Jana Knauerova.
There are many instances that are considered taboo and the majority of the population who know of polyamory would consider it as one of them. On POLYGLAMOROUS, Hamilton and his long-term partner, Jana Knauerova, candidly write about their life as polyamorists and explore the science behind monogamy and non-monogamy. It has proved to be a highly captivating read and quite the eye-opener to selection of lifestyle.
So without further ado, I’m delighted to welcome Jules to the blog for the evening. Enjoy!
The first time I was on camera, I experienced a lot of adrenaline and endorphins. I knew that I could be presented on TV (flatteringly or unflatteringly) as a counter-culture iconoclast, so being on camera felt to me a bit like Trial by Combat from Game of Thrones (even though the stakes weren't quite that high.) Anything I said or did could be edited and used against me. I felt like I needed to be sharp and careful as I wielded words to clearly communicate with my audiences (on and off camera). Watching myself on television is like an adventurous amusement park ride, but one that twists and turns in unknown directions.
I've always loved writing and sharing my ideas, so I thought a blog would be a great way to engage a larger audience. Not only is this a great way to spread words, but it's also the best way to expose myself to the largest range of feedback and criticism. I believe feedback and criticism are essential ingredients for progress.
I find that inspiration can be manifested from all sorts of happenings, enormous or microscopic. What inspires your articles?
I started this blog around the time we were filming for the UK reality show Made in Chelsea. Some of my initial inspirations for posts came from things I said on camera (or things that were said to me). Other posts are inspired from criticism and feedback in my daily life. Posts can be inspired by what I am feeling. Culture is another major source of inspiration to me. I try to engage as much as possible with the world around me, nurturing my own wonder and curiosity. As I take in the world, I filter it through my mind. My thoughts are a creative expression of my physical and cerebral experiences, guided by a belief that objective truth exists. Just because I can't pinpoint it, doesn't mean I can't infinitely approach it. Science is a process, not an end point. In that respect, science is a major inspiration to me. Science is a self-correcting tool I use to navigate uncertainty.
Do you have any favourite articles?
Some of my favorite posts have been The Prison Vs. The Jungle, On Being Wrong For Argument's Sake, Ridicule, Evil Jealousy, Worldview, Love People Not Pleasure– or Love Both, How To Start A Movement, and Bad Philosophy. I have faith in science and believe it can effectively replace a need for religion. I believe I benefit from the same neurological benefits of religion (answer to death, sense of purpose, moral compass) from science.
The fans, as well as the cast, of Made in Chelsea were shocked when you revealed you were polyamorous. If I'm not mistaken, almost everyone took to the nearest dictionary device to seek what on earth that was.
PolyamorousWhy did you decide to become polyamorous after years of living in monogamy?
The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved.
I decided to be polyamorous to be happy. It took me six individual year-or-more long term relationships (striving for a monogamous ideal) to realize that I don't think people are genetically monogamous. As I opened up my romantic life, I became more aware of cultural guilt and shame people have associated with sex. Pop culture is becoming raunchier and I think our discomfort with sex is fading for the best. I decided to be polyamorous to keep romance alive in my life. What is the point of life if you are not having fun and happy? My purpose in life is to be happy, spread happiness, and to be the best I can be.
Polyamory doesn't work if you aren't good at being happy, spreading happiness, and being the best you can be. One can't be lazy in a polyamorous relationship– if you can't keep your partners happy, they will leave (but I think this is also true in a monogamous relationship– and I also think it's why there is so much cheating and breaking up). I don't think people cheat because they are bad people– I think they cheat because their nature is starved for human connection because we are genetically non-monogamous. I became polyamorous to keep life fulfilling, open, honest, and free. I didn't want to be a cheater because fidelity is important to me (which I define as faithfulness to the promises and agreements about a relationship).
An attractive and intimidating quality about you is your frank honesty. Upon disclosing being in multiple open relationships, how do people react to said knowledge?
In my experience, people generally react to things in a way that reflects how I help make them feel about it. I'm not trying to hurt anyone and I genuinely think people like to be thoughtful. Sometimes if you present an idea that challenges one's view of the world, a person can react as if the new idea is a threat to their sense of self and stability. Otherwise, people might cringe at something unfamiliar– but become more comfortable with the idea the more it is elaborated. People also become more comfortable if you demonstrate you are a good listener and if you are good at responding to feedback and criticism. So, initial reactions to my lifestyle do vary, but they usually involve a lot of critical questions– which I believe is healthy and desirable.
Thank you, Jules, for coming by! I hope that has answered all of your burning questions about Made in Chelsea, his blog and staggering both people in his life and fans with his polyamorous lifestyle.
As individuals, our perception is continuously challenged by another’s. Whether you are monogamous or not, I would recommend taking a look at this intellectual blog. There are plenty of other articles to do with fashion, beauty and the addressing of difficult subjects such as jealousy with a blunt and guilelessness approach. Even if it’s simply to sate your curiosity, have a thorough read.
FIND JULES HAMILTON