"2015" | A Letter to Myself.

It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. 

 Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

2015 was a token. A token of the happiness that resonated through the darkness. A token of the agony that rose from the depths of unknown and knocked you off your once steady feet. A token of the hope that endured throughout the pain and suffering.

The test in life is not whether you lose your footing but whether you can regain it. You did. You endured. Every moment. Be it happy, sad, spectacular or disastrous; you kept going.

You have fought many a battle this passing year. Far too many for someone as young as yourself. Perhaps more than most have fought their entire lives. Battles of the mind, body, and yes, battles of the heart. It is in the times like the many you have endured this year that you must remember something:

The truth is, it is fruitless to allow your eyes to slowly rot at the sight of the times you were chained to the wall of struggle and strife. It is not your fault and remember, the causers of the pain don’t get to dictate their part in it. It appears futile to have spent so much time on things that were not worth one second but oh, you must learn that it was worth it.

Remember that time. That was the time you had confused a lesson for a soulmate. And you realised that and you have learnt that, in today's society, the reality is is that when you like someone, want someone, or are in love with someone, logic is lost. You are intoxicated by their touch and how it feels – like hot kisses of warm raindrops on your skin. A blindfold is wrapped tightly over your eyes to compel you to see perfection where there is none. You acknowledge and very well know their lies but you maintain a trust in them. To like, to want, and to love someone is knowing that they could break your heart, but hoping they won’t.

Look at you now. You have changed.  With every passing moment, every single moment, you became a wee bit more of a memory to yourself. But that is not to say it is a bad thing. You have noticed the limbo you had been imprisoned in and chopped the very tree that was shredding your own down. The skin you call your own has been stripped bare and replaced with a thickening growth in intelligence and strength. You have torn up the roots and planted a new seed for a better future.

Always keep moving. Keep acknowledging the ones that adore you, stop adoring the ones who ignore you, stop loving the ones who have hurt you and stop hurting the ones that love you. Mistakes are made and you can’t change them so stand up, own it, and move one! They don’t matter but you do.

In the words of Samwise Gamgee, there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.

Don’t wish for the New Year to be better. YOU make it better.

From Your Ever-Optimistic Self

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